By Ryan Humphries
Co-Owner: Axistence Athletics
This week, thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands of people are taking the first steps towards building a better life. The experiences and interactions they have with their friends, family, and often even strangers, could dictate whether or not they’re still on that path three months from now. In short, YOU could be the reason that someone achieves their goals this year.
I’m not sure when it became en vogue to poo-poo on people’s aspirations, but I for one would like to normalize supporting our friends and building each other up (at any time of the year).
I think there was probably a time when people looked at the coming of a new year as a blank slate. A time to start over. A time to create something new. And yet, it’s 2023 and New Year’s Resolutions have become the butt of the joke. The meme that makes fun of people for quitting. The trigger word for eye rolls, snickers, and groans.
Do we really believe that it’s such a bad idea to have goals???
Despite the “epic fail videos” that permeate our social media channels, I think that most people (if given an option) would rather see a good success story than a failure. However, we’ve reached that time of the year when sharing our goals has almost become taboo.
Imagine you’re at a friend’s birthday party in June. They say something like, “You know, this year I think I’d like to (_______). They might tell you they plan on running their first marathon, or learning a foreign language, or visiting Thailand. Maybe they want to get their nutrition on point, or start prioritizing their recovery with better sleep. Whatever it is, as a supportive friend it’s likely that you’ll give them some encouragement. Maybe you have a similar goal and you talk about how you could work together. Maybe you’re just curious about how they’ll do it?
Now imagine you’re hanging out with that same friend, and it’s the first week of January. They share with you that they have a New Year's Resolution…. Do you feel the same encouragement towards their goals? Do you share their enthusiasm? Or do you do what has become all too common; you roll your eyes, you think (or say out loud) “Yeah, how long is that going to last?”
Look, we all know people that continuously say they're going to do something and then they don’t. And frankly, we’re all tired of it. But should we nay-say them? Could it be that our reaction to hearing the goal could be what determines their outcome?
As someone who’s in the business of helping people reach their goals, I thought this would be a great opportunity to share a couple things I’ve seen that can either turn someone into a success story, or the butt of a New Years Resolution joke.
Having a friend that SUPPORTS your goal is better than having a dozen friends that are indifferent. Having a friend that SHARES your goal will get you ten times closer than going it alone. Support can also come in the form of accountability. Regardless of where that accountability comes from (friend, partner, social group, mentor, or coach) this could be the deciding factor of whether or not you’ll stay on track. Accountability creates consistency, and what we do consistently determines our future.
For New Year’s Resolutions, having a lack of support and/or accountability can be devastating. Humans are social creatures. Very few of us have the willpower to go in the opposite direction of the herd. If you’re the only one in your friend group that wants to start working out or eating better, that's going to be a challenge. Sarcastic comments like “Oh I bet this isn’t on your diet is it?” or things like, “I heard squats are bad for you, you sure you should be doing that??” are enough to make many people quit or at least start second guessing themselves. However, having just one supportive person in your life could be the difference between whether or not you give into peer pressure during difficult times. Also, if your friends aren't supportive of your goals, maybe it’s time to find new friends…
“A goal without a plan is but a wish”. Doing something that you’ve never done before can be intimidating. However, unless your goal involves setting a Guinness Book World Record, it’s likely that there are people out there who have achieved exactly what you’re looking to achieve. Success leaves clues. Use these clues to create your strategy. A solid strategy involves being very specific, creating a timeline, and measuring your progress along the way.
Making it happen isn’t necessarily easy, but the formula is simple:
S + S = S (Support + Strategy = Success)
So this week, if you hear a friend talking about their New Year’s Resolutions, remember that your reaction to those words may either get them closer to those goals or further away.
And of course, we’d be remiss if we didn’t remind you that your coaches here at Axistence can be a great source of both support and strategy.
Have a goal that you're pretty serious about, but maybe a little confused as to the strategy? We got you fam.
For the month of January, we’re offering complimentary 30 minute Strategy Sessions for all members to help you create your specific plan of attack. These can be either in-person, or via ZOOM. To set one up, please reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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